Tom and the Dragon

Tom and the Dragon

©2006 Holly Hunt

 CAST: 

TOM (Shabby-looking knight)

STACIE (Regal-looking princess)

DRAGON (Does not look like a dragon. Maybe a tail and wings)

PETER (Old king)

Member of the audience (Whomever)

TOM dances onto the set. Wearing helmet and one shin guard, one metal glove. Sword at waist. TOM trips and catches himself. TOM looks down at himself and smiles at the crowd.

TOM: [to audience] Welcome to the Shepherd Michigan Midsummer Faire! The Companies and I do wish you all a very happy day and we hope you enjoy the plays we have in store for you!

DRAGON waltzes onto set with sword and key ring on waist. Growls at TOM. TOM glances at DRAGON.

TOM [to audience]: Excuse me a bit, won’t you? I have a dragon to slay and a princess to save.

TOM takes out sword and swings it around. Drops sword. DRAGON snickers.

TOM:       Oops.

Picks up sword and glares at the dragon. DRAGON watches TOM.

TOM:        Release the dragon, princess, or I’ll have to slay you! I do not want to! There are kids watching.

STACIE appears behind TOM. Dressed like a princess. STACIE shakes head. DRAGON laughs.

TOM:        I mean, release the princess, dragon, or I’ll have to slay you, which I still don’t want to do as there are still kids watching!

TOM raises sword. TOM and DRAGON stop moving. STACIE steps to downstage.

STACIE: Although it is sad that Tom really isn’t that good a knight, it is very funny. Don’t you agree? He does try, but I’m afraid he was never very good at being a hero. Even when we were children he was always tripping over things and dropping his sword… He can’t even hit the broad side of a castle with a bow and arrow! [laughs]

STACIE moves back to where she was, standing behind TOM. Actors start moving again. TOM crouches down, as though ready to attack.

TOM:       Hand over the princess, dragon!

DRAGON shakes head and produces a sword.

DRAGON: [English accent] If I win, I can keep her, yeah?

TOM stops and stands up. Scratches his head.

TOM:       I suppose so. It’s not like I could sneak past you and –

TOM drops sword and tries to run past the DRAGON. The DRAGON sticks his foot out and TOM trips over and falls off the stage. Holds out hand to closest audience member.

TOM [to audience member]: Tag me.

[Hopefully the audience member will touch his hand. I suggest you plant someone there. If not, TOM huffs and sticks his tongue out at the audience member.] TOM stands up, brushing himself off.

TOM:       Fighting dirty, hey?

TOM pretends to roll his sleeves up and climbs up onto the stage. DRAGON and TOM circle. TOM conveniently misses seeing STACIE laughing at him.

TOM:       Well, two can play at that game.

TOM rushes forward towards the DRAGON. DRAGON turns on the spot and steps out of the way. TOM falls over in front of STACIE. STACIE giggles.

STACIE: How nice to see you, Tom, dear.

TOM smiles and waves, standing up.

TOM:       You too, Stacie. Excuse me for a minute?

TOM turns to the DRAGON and steps forward. Points to something behind DRAGON.

TOM:       Oh, no! What’s that!

DRAGON turns and looks. TOM takes a key ring from the DRAGON’s waist. DRAGON turns back. TOM shows DRAGON the key. DRAGON hangs head and walks slowly off stage. TOM waves.

TOM:       Come, Stacie, let us away to the castle.

TOM walks towards STACIE and STACIE links her arm through his. Both walk off stage. DRAGON slinks back on and grins at audience. Takes bottle of soft drink/soda and shakes, rolling it across the stage. Bottle falls off the side of the stage. DRAGON looks like it’s listening hard. Boom can be heard. [A member of the team can have the drink now, if they want it.]

TOM [off stage]: What was that?

STACIE [off stage]: Just a mix of times. Don’t worry about it.

DRAGON looks disappointed. Snaps fingers.

DRAGON: [English accent] Rats. I’ll have to try something else.

DRAGON slinks off stage. TOM and STACIE cross stage.

TOM [to audience]: Castle’s this way.

TOM and STACIE leave the same side as DRAGON.

 

SCENE CHANGE

TOM and STACIE walk on from the left side of the stage, PETER the right. PETER is dressed as a king. PETER and TOM wave.

PETER:   So, Tom, you saved my daughter from the evil dragon.

TOM bows.

TOM:        Yes, your majesty.

PETER:   Right, well, take her back. You’re being sued by the dragon for theft.

PETER holds up a piece of paper. TOM steps forward and trips. Rips the paper. PETER shakes his head and drops the other half on top of TOM. TOM rolls onto back and reads the pieces of paper as STACIE and PETER talk.

STACIE: You can’t be serious, father! You want to send me back to the dragon?

PETER:   I have no choice, Stacie, dear. The Dragon Union has been building against dragon slayers and rescuers of damsels in distress since St. George slayed the famous dragon. It’s all rather shameful. You can now be tried for murdering a dragon, you know.

STACIE rolls her eyes. PETER and TOM stop moving. STACIE steps downstage.

STACIE: What kind of kingdom do we live in when a dragon has rights? Honestly… Murder for killing a dragon? Next they’ll be saying it’s murder to kill a sheep!

STACIE steps back into place. TOM stands up and PETER sits down on floor, chin in hands.

TOM:       Okay. Stacie, come with me. We have to deliver you back to the dragon.

STACIE rolls her eyes. TOM and STACIE leave stage left. PETER stands up.

PETER:   When I was young, all I ever wanted to be was a rain man, not a king. Peter the rain man, that’s what they would have called me. Oh well.

PETER sighs, jumps down off the stage and exits through the crowd.

 

SCENE CHANGE

TOM and STACIE are sitting on a couple of chairs out in the middle of the stage.

TOM:        Where is the dragon, anyway? You’d think it would want its property back enough to be where it said it would be when it said it would be.

STACIE stares at TOM.

STACIE: That even confused me. Say it again?

TOM signs impatiently.

TOM [like a spoilt child]: The dragon’s taking forever. Make it come quicker!

STACIE shakes head. DRAGON appears behind the pair. Looks like he’s about to tackle TOM.

TOM:       I really hope the dragon isn’t right behind us, about to tackle me.

DRAGON stops and thinks. Tickles TOM. TOM shrieks and laughs.

TOM:        Stop! Stop, I surrender!

DRAGON tickles him a bit more. TOM stands up from seat and glares at the dragon.

TOM:        I heard you were going to sue me for theft if I didn’t return STACIE to your clawed clutches.

DRAGON looks at his fingers. No claws.

TOM:       I was talking figuratively. I didn’t mean you had claws.

DRAGON nods. Leads STACIE away from TOM.

DRAGON: [English accent] Very good. Come on, princess. Let’s away to my cave and make Tom stew in the thoughts of how he could have saved you.

DRAGON points at the horizon. STACIE looks at the horizon. TOM sits down and pulls out a deck of cards.

DRAGON: [English accent] Oooh. Do you tell fortunes?

DRAGON approaches TOM. TOM looks up at him.

TOM:       Yes I do. Would you like to know yours?

DRAGON: [English Accent] Yes!

DRAGON nods.

TOM:       Then step over here and I’ll tell you where no one can see.

DRAGON and TOM step off stage right. A few moments later, TOM appears.

TOM:       Let’s run for it! Before the dragon realises that the king isn’t his father!

TOM and STACIE leave stage left. PETER enters from front of stage. DRAGON appears from stage right, jumps and chases PETER after TOM and STACIE. TOM, STACIE, PETER and DRAGON run across stage from right to left. PETER, STACIE and TOM cross back again. TOM and STACIE stop and PETER runs into them.

TOM:       Where’s the dragon?

TOM, STACIE and PETER look at where they just came from. DRAGON appears behind them and sneaks up on TOM.

DRAGON: [English accent] Gotcha!

DRAGON hugs PETER and TOM. STACIE falls to the stage and laughs. DRAGON huffs and drags PETER off stage. STACIE stops moving. TOM steps forward to address the crowd.

TOM:       Now, I know it all seems very bad at this point, but trust me. It gets better.

TOM steps into place and helps STACIE up. STACIE looks around.

STACIE: Where’s father?

TOM:       The dragon took him. Come. You stay here, and I’ll go after him.

TOM tries to look brave and leaves stage right. STACIE huffs and follows him. DRAGON drags PETER onto the stage.

DRAGON: [English accent] [to audience] Are they gone? [wait for audience to answer] Good. [to PETER] Now, king, you will bow to the demands of the D.U. or—

PETER:   D.U.?

The DRAGON growls.

DRAGON: [English accent] The Dragon Union!

PETER:   Oh.

DRAGON: [English Accent] Now, as I was saying –

TOM bursts onto the stage from stage right.

TOM:       Stop, dragon! Leave the king be in his ways, or I’ll have to slay you.

PETER [mutter]: Promises, promises.

TOM:       What was that, majesty?

PETER:   Nothing. Nothing at all.

TOM:       Okay. [to DRAGON]  I said, release the King!

TOM flourishes his sword and drops it but catches it. DRAGON huffs.

DRAGON: If you want him, come and get him!

TOM and dragon dive at each other. TOM lands on the ground. DRAGON kicks him off stage.

STACIE [examining her nails]: I hope Tom isn’t hurt too badly.

TOM staggers onto stage. DRAGON roars off stage and falls silent.

TOM:  That settled the beast. Come, you two. Let us away home, where STACIE and I will be married happily ever after and King Peter shall rule until his dying day!

STACIE stops examining her nails as TOM places a hand on hers. STACIE looks up and the pair kisses. PETER steps forward to address the audience as the DRAGON appears on the side of the stage, watching the pair.

PETER: Thanks for coming, everyone. Hopefully the hero and his girl will stop kissing soon, upon which time the marriage will be set up. Thank you all for coming, and I hope you all enjoy your day.

TOM and STACIE pull apart to bow to the audience.

 

——-

(Airds ending owing to Stacie and Tom being played by men)

TOM:        That settled the beast. Come, you two. Let us away home, where Stacie and I will be married happily ever after and King Peter shall rule until his dying day!

STACIE sweeps TOM up in her arms and carries her off stage. Peter moves to the front of the stage..

PETER:   Thanks for coming, everyone. Hopefully the hero and his girl will return soon, upon which time the marriage will be set up. Thank you all for coming, and we hope you all enjoy your day.

Gather for bow