Ute Carbone Interview

1. Why didn’t you become a policeman instead of a writer?

I would make a terrible policewoman. First off, I’m a wimp and secondly, I would look really dumb in one of those police hats. I  would also be afraid of shooting myself in the foot, and this constant angst would  make it impossible for me to do the job. That said, I think I could write about a policewoman or man and make it work. In fact, one of the many characters in my new comedy, Confessions of the Sausage Queen, is a cop named Ricky Grinowski,  one of the delinquent Grin boys, now reformed and striving to stay on the straight and narrow.

 

2. If you could only tell one story in your life, what would it be?

Nope, can’t be done. Except to say that my real life would be that story. As to fiction, I’ve got too many ideas and too little time as it is. I could never choose just one story, or even one genre. What would be the fun in that?

 

3. Apples or pears?

Apples. Though my shape is more reflective of a pear.

 

4. Which of your own characters would you like to meet and why?

I love them all and they are going to get very jealous   if I name just one,  and then they’ll be waking me up in the middle of the night and asking “why not me?” But I’m going to do it anyway. Since I’m working on the last part of my Sweet Lenora historical series right now, I’d have to say Anton. I’ve got a serious crush on him. Please don’t tell Lenora.

 

5. How would you like the world to end? 

I don’t want it to end! But if it has to, I want a very large bowl of ice cream before we all go down. With chocolate sprinkles and whipped cream.

 

6. Which genre do you wish you could write, and why?

I really love the genres I already write, there are three of them (romantic comedy, literary women’s fiction, and historical) and they keep me pretty darn busy. I would like to try my hand a magical realism and I might just one of these days.

 

7. You’re stuck on an island with only three things: A knife, a match and a stick. What would you do to survive?

Write “Help Me’ in the sand with the stick. Pray really hard that a plane comes by and sees my message.

 

8. Which of the following would you rather have stalking you through the night: A vampire, a werewolf, or Stephen King?

Stalking?? I don’t like this stalking thing. Why do I have to be stalked?? I’ll take Stephen, at any rate. I can invite him in for coffee and we can talk writing. I don’t think he’ll try to eat or drink me.

 

9. Who is the best villain you’ve ever read, and why?

Hmm, good question. Hanabel Lechter from Silence of the Lambs gave me nightmares. It was great. J He’s such a terrific villain because he’s human–you can almost like him but, eww, no. I like Dexter from the Dexter series for the same reason. He’s the kind of guy who could be your best friend. And then, again, he’s a serial killer, so maybe the best friend idea isn’t so great.

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